Thursday, 29 April 2010

Ah the Finer Things In Life....

So I'm sat up in my brand new French Mahogany Sleigh Bed typing away on my very pink Sony laptop and thinking life isn't so bad with Ross working in London. :)

We have a beautiful bed with the finest mattress going and I must say, my back doesn't hurt, I feel like I'm laying on a supportive cloud. Every contour of my body hugged and I am in complete and utter bliss.
I am going to enjoy a nice lie in tomorrow morning. In fact, I might get Ryan in with me to chill out all day long. :D
Here's to new beds!! Aren't they great!

Sunday, 25 April 2010

BallPit Fun and Pregnancy Thoughts

For the first time in his life, Ryan fell over and one of his teeth went through his lip! Blood everywhere!! Ryan was screaming, Ross was dramatically calling out for bandages, I was trying not to be sick and frantically looking for cotton wool was an absolute nightmare!
It's all very well and good that our little man can walk even at this young age, but he has decided to RUN everywhere!! This means occassional bumps and bruises which I guess are normal when you've got a fearless dare-devil as a son! Where he get's it from I've no clue! ha.
So I had a brainwave. We patched him up, gave him a big kiss and popped out to the shop where we bought a £2.50 blow up paddling pool and 400 balls for £16. When we got home, Ross blew up the pool and filled it with all the coloured balls. Ryan was hessitant and curious at first. He took great interest in emptying the pool and throwing the balls around the room.....then my camera ran out of battery and he turned gleeful! He jumped face first into the balls and buried himself in them going "Yay!! Yay!!" with the biggest, cheesiest grin you'd ever seen! He couldn't stop laughing and jumping and screetching with joy! It was then that Ross and I thought it was a mistake to put the ballpit up just 10 mins before his bedtime! haha.

This is baby burton 2. The sequel. In all honesty, I wasn't excited about this pregnancy. It all felt too soon and Ross and I were consumed by the horrible fact that this pregnancy = sickness. It's been a roller coaster so far because I've been sick, sick, sick. Yes. I've been weak. Tremendously weak. I've been unable to gulp a drink down for ages....I've not been teaching my primary lessons and that had me so guilty. I needed sisters to come over and take Ryan for a few mornings or bring over food for Ross. For about a month an a half, I ate nothing all day long save a few pieces of chocolate that would melt in my mouth so I didn't have to swallow. The nausea this time round has been much worse. Yet the most I have been sick in one day so far is 4 times. That is a big improvement on my record 21 in the last pregnancy. I'm wearing the "bonds of pregnancy" (i.e. my sea bands) and I have just felt trapped in a doom and gloom. Completely unable to comprehend that all this sickness was doing anything productive. Last time round, I was so attached to Ryan and knew who he was and felt his spirit. I often would say "it's you and me against this sickness!!" well it's the same thing this time, only I'm not close to this baby. It's still "me and Ryan against this pregnancy!" Isn't that awful? Isn't that the most terrible thing a mother could think?
So when I went in for my scan last week I was very nervous - and sick - and shaky - and weak. (after walking across the massive hospital carpark and up 3 flights of stairs because Ross didn't want to go into the elevator!! *sends Ross the evil eye* ) then this picture came up. A calm, serene, sleeping 9.2cm long baby. A perfect baby. Complete with eyelids and fingernails. 5 fingers and toes, two arms, two legs and little nose. A baby. MY baby. An overwhelming emotion of love consumed my being as I looked in awe at this beautiful creation. Suddenly it all had such great meaning. My sickness and gloom had purpose and worth. I HAD been doing something for the last 3 months of misery. I grew and created this outstandingly gorgeous and immaculate baby! A baby!
Well I am now very excited and completely in love with my new precious cargo. It is lovely to know that Ryan will have a brother or a sister too as he does love playing with other children!! Plus as he is walking now and he doesn't do cuddles I want another baby!! haha good thing I'm having one then!
Well anyway it's all good now. I'm full of a cold and hoping that when it goes the sickness will can only dream! hehe

Friday, 2 April 2010

ryan walking video

Thursday, 1 April 2010

Weeks 9 and 10

I am finding it increasingly difficult to sit up and type these blog enteries. Yet I have decided to persevere and write down how I'm feeling because I really want this baby to be my last.

On the odd chance that I am feeling "well" and yes there are occasions where I am not feeling horrendous, as soon as I move or get up, I'm on a dodgey cruise ship and running to the bathroom to be really sick.

Today I woke up feeling positive and "okay". I ate two slices of dry toast and smiled at the achievement. 30 minutes later I proceeded to throw up those two pieces of toast and the entire contents on my stomach. This always happens when I think to myself "hmm I haven't been physically sick for a few days..." I think I should just keep quiet.

These weeks have been stressful and hard. To say the least. Ross' job is excrutiatingly hard at the moment and Ross simply has nothing to do and is faced with daily frustration and ridicule. After stating that he is more depressed and upset about work than he ever was at Sony I told him he was wearing Rose Tinted Sunglasses because he was utterly miserable in Sony. Ross stopped me, looked at me with full suriousness and said "No Laura, this is much, much worse". I gulped.

Ross made a desperate prayer to the Lord at work yesterday, reminding him that he was promised to be able to provide "profficient income and means for the family and to always be recognized and rewarded for your work" he told Heavenly Father that he wasn't getting that in Nationwide and it was frustrating and trying. After venting, he went back to his work and just "let it go" he decided not to fight anymore or push but to put it up to the Lord to show him what he needs to do. He decided to just put his life into the hands of Heavenly Father and he felt peace.

Remarkably, two things happened that day. Firstly, his boss spoke to him and seemed very positive about training opportunities and things changing by November this year. Ross felt happy about this. Then he gets a phone call from a former work colleague and friend who worked at LCH (London Clearing House) where Ross applied for some months ago. The guy they hired just bailed on them and they were desperate for Ross to work there. They said they needed someone committed because this was a 1-2 year project that needed someone to see it all the way through. He said "can I tell HR to not advertise the job and to put you through to work here instead?" Taken aback, Ross said yes.

Today Ross gets a phonecall from his recruiter friend who works for LCH and said that he was requested for an interview next tuesday. Ross said it was silly and too soon. So an interview was booked for Wednesday. The job is closed to outside applicants and Ross is the only one going for it. They also said "Expect an offer in the interview or 15 minutes afterwards". The daily rate will be £380.

Stress? Indeed! I can't talk about it anymore. Will update what happens. xxxx