Saturday, 14 March 2009


Take That is playing on the High Fi and probably disturbing the neighbours as Ross has decided to put it up loud so the "bass" kicks in...don't worry as soon as he leaves the room, I'll creep the volume down again...My poor little baby must find the vibrations very strange!!

I've been in lots of pain and discomfort recently. In fact, the other day, I was hobbling around the house, wincing with pain as I move my legs because it feels like I'm trying to carry a bowling ball...umm using just the musles between my legs....are there muscles there??? No clue!! Rolling over in bed feels so uncomfy and wakes me up. No matter how many back rubs I got or how much Volterol was slathered into my sore aching bump muscles I felt PAIN!!

Nothing but rest and a hot bath would help. So I spent the whole of yesterday with my feet up - oh wait, that's a lie, I did spend a couple of hours stood up ironing....but I figured that if I was just standing, I'd be stretching muscles and using them without straining them by moving?? Does that make any sense? Hmm not sure.

I'm feeling much better today. Better enough to wake up nice and early, despite a late night! (Went out to the Harvester just before closing time!) I scrubbed the bathrooms, cleaned the skirting boards, put a wash on, dusted all the cobwebs away (just a figure of speech, I don't really have any cobwebs in my house!) and Ross has been doing the hoovering for me. He's out in the garden now, doing some strimming and mowing. It's fun to see him out there - it's a "dad" thing to do isn't it? Well, it certainly brings me back ot my childhood memories of watching dad in the's nice to think my baby boy will grow up in the same way!

I love Ross so much. He's been so incredibly patient with me during my mood swings, faint moments, panic attacks, sickness, nausea, weak days and over - excited days....he's been just as pregnant as I am. I love him dearly for his kindness and loyalty. Yet....his Car!!! He's sneaking out to the garage at every possible moment and says he'll only be "5 minutes", which of course turns into 2 hours and I'm having to play big bag pregnant wife person and nag him to come inside because tea is getting cold!!

I'm beginning to realise that Corey was doing me a massive favour keeping the Audi at his garage all this time. I didn't realise how obsessed Ross can be! Still...there are worse hobbies, and he's only trying to build the car before baby arrives....(or before his birthday so he can have a little ride out in it! :) I know your plot Burton!) I'll be so glad when it's all over. When the car is finally road worthy and he'll only be spending his spare time cleaning the car or taking me out in it!! I'm starting to feel like I'm being replaced by a heap of metal - granted a lovely, high performance heap of metal...but still! Was feeling a bit mopey and unloved when Ross came home at 9:45pm last night (!!!) but then he treated me to dinner and well, if you give a pregnant woman a nice plate of warm cooked food and tells you not to worry about washing up afterwards and THEN lets her have any chocolatey desert she wants....well she'll forgive an axe murderer! LOL.

Now it's Saturday. We're doing a spot of spring cleaning, played through our new game "LOST VIA DAMUS" PS3 game already (gosh it was intense!! Will need to talk to Mum and Dad and ask them what they see in this bizzare, scary and down right random Lost series...) I had nightmares from playing it the other night! Yes, been feeling a bit vulnerable and sensitive as of late...hormones eh? Got to love them.

We've now got pretty much EVERYTHING for baby now ! Finally!! We're so happy and now when people ask us "are you ready?" we can say that on the practical side...."YES". Baby, you are now allowed to make an appearence....but it would be REALLY nice if you could hold on until I am at least 36 weeks pregnant and please don't come any later than 40 weeks....that would be very mean on Mummy! SO, 55 days to go til D - Day! In two minds now....part of me would love to just get the labour over with and have baby here sooner rather than later...the other part would like to "hold" it off for a little while.

BUT as each day passes I'm feeling more and more confident and less "oh no, no, no". Aargh, just put my back out carrying the hoover upstairs...

I keep leaving this and doing other things. Now i've completely lost track of what I was going to type next....

Never mind, not much to report. Once this cleaning frenzy is over with, we've got the food shopping to do and THEN it's Snow boarding time....! Yeah!


Tuesday, 10 March 2009

Hair Dye, Burgers and Bump!!

So I've had enough. My roots were 6-7 inchs long and it was sooo depressing!! There's been a lot of contradictory advice on the hair dye front, but nothing really says "DON'T DO IT" there's just a bit of a question as to whether it is safe during the first 12 weeks of the pregnancy. Well seeing as I'm 31 weeks gone now, I'm going to take my chances....

SO Ross - the BEST husband in the world - dyed my hair for me. We both had lots of fun and I started to get really nervous when my hair got lighter and lighter and the shower it looked as red as Giselle's from Enchanted. (not that there's a problem with Giselle's hair colour) thankfully, once I had dried my hair with the good ol' hair dryer - I turned a pretty light shade of BLONDE. Phew!!

Very happy now. :)

Now I'm off to make some homemade beef burgers - mmm. Complete with potato wedges as a side dish and dairylea slices to go inside the baps.

Okay my mind has just gone blank. Totally.

I think I was going to write something about the horrific weight gain I've made since being pregnant. Apparently this is totally normal but what is normal exactly? 1stone? 2stone? 3?? Why oh WHY did I jump on the scales in Tesco??

My bump is HUGE now.

My bump has grown from 27inchs to 39!!! WOW.

Monday, 2 March 2009 are being evicted from the Big Mamma's house...

To: Mr. Baby Boy Burton

To the above tenant in possession of below described premises: I am issuing 30 day notice for EVICTION. You will have 30 days in which you can either gather your belongings and promptly vacate the premises, or wait until the final day. After which, you will be physically removed from the property.

You are being evicted due to breech of contract and destruction of property. Expansions only to the FRONT of the house, within reasonable limits, were discussed. Not only have these limits been exceeded, but additions to the back of the house were also made!

Remodeling and gutting of the home was never approved, nor was changing the initial layout and base structure. And due to property damage, there are now leaks in both the upper AND lower levels of the home. On top of which, the landlord has received numerous complaints about nightly disturbances.

After 30 days from this day that you don't comply with the notice will result in immediate and forceful removal at my discretion. Thank you for your cooperation.

Love, Mummy

Sunday, 1 March 2009

Bristol or Brizzol

Sarcasm. Need I really say more? It is a concept that I have found incredibly tricky to grasp, often resulting me as the butt of every joke. "Wow Laura, you're SO cool"... in most counties this would be received as a compliment - but there's something about the tone....the pirate-ish "ooh arrrgh!" about the person's manner that seems to suggest something more sinister....

I am curious. Please, someone enlighten me. Why is it so incredibly funny to put other's down using sarcasm and "wit"? That dry sense of humour which leaves a bad taste in your mouth. The cocked eyebrow with the wry smile as you are insulted over and over....yet if anything were to be said about it, you are merely a fool because "It's a JOKE". Shakespeare was wise, "many a truth are said in jest" or something of the sort.

Do I miss Bristol? The topic has been on my mind as of late, not too sure why really, but the more I remember the dirty, over-crowded town and the smarmy drunken men who follow you up and down Broadmead...I am more and more convinced that I would never wish to return. There is a whole breed of species. An inside language. An inner humour that is only shared among fellow "Brizzolians".

Don't get me wrong, some of the lovliest people are from Bristol. I lived around the area for years, my young and tender ages were spent in the place. Yet there seemed to be a large quantity of "oooh arrrrr"-ing going on. What, so we're all farmers are we?

Lush? Darling, that word was discarded along with the many other 90's sayings - at least, the rest of the world has done that. Wait, what is it now? "Gert" - well that was a word originally said a lot in the country fields in Midsomer Norton "wurd yu like to ride me gert big tra-er?" Now it has been adopted. It is "cool". Wow don't you love phases. It reminds me of my childhood when I went through a small phase of buying "hippie chick" pencil cases and calling everything "groovy". It'll pass. People grow up, but then a new generation of people arise and old popular words will rise from the grave...

No where is perfect. Every town, city, country and state have their quirks and inside knowledge of what is "cool" and what isn't. The thing I entirely disagree on is this obsession with sarcasm. With putting others down and sending out verbal abuse in the package of a smile.

Can we all not be a little more kinder? What have we really got to lose by saying something genuine? Must we really all lower our wit to the base techniques of sarcasm?

No, no. I don't miss Bristol. I would not want my son to be conditioned in the walls of a school whereby every boy must wear a pink tie and grow his hair long, prancing around like a pansy...

...mind you, I've seena a bit of that in Gloucester too. Man up lads!!

I dream a dream, of a place where the fields are not strewn with trash and air filled with aromas of sewage - I dream a dream of a nation of people who smile when they mean it, who laugh at humour and not each other. I dream of rainbows and buttercups and all things glorious and nice....

Is there a place like this??

Well, a hormonal pregnant woman can dream.

Yet despite all this, I can not help but feel a soft spot for Clifton. So many sweet memories with the girls at Clifton High. Oh how we laughed back then!

Just my two pennies. *Disclaimer* This post was not directed at any specific persons or place. (although Bristol is spoken about a lot I guess) I speak with mild humour and do not mean to offend any one on this nature. As noted above, I do love many people from Bristol, I am merely stating that the common humour developed in that area of the country is a little disturbing for me and hard to understand.....perhaps that was why I was bullied at school? lol.