Wednesday, 17 November 2010

No Words

No words can describe fully the complex mixture of thoughts and emotions within me right now. Complete and utter joy and excitement at Carla and Gabor moving to Swindon in the New Year....absolute heartache to find out that April and Greg are moving back to America in January.

One best friend leaves, another arrives.

I can't stop crying. :(

Wednesday, 10 November 2010


Screaming baby and wailing toddler at the same time - who do you go to first? Latch baby on quick, settle toddler with dum dum and blankie, put down for nap...

burp baby, put down in bouncy chair to sleep.


2 minutes later...toddler banging on cot bars and going "eeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeee!" baby jumps, stirs, scrunches up face....mother holds falls back asleep.


More "eeee eee eeee"-ing coming from toddler, now it turns into "waaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaa aaaa" baby wriggles, sniffles, starts to pant with stuffy nose....

and they're both screaming again.

Run upstairs, get dum dum from beneathe cot, stuff in toddler's mouth, put him down on his back again, ignore frustrated cries of "No! No! NO!" walk outside to hear toddler moaning and wailing again. Baby crying downstairs.

Run downstairs, rock bouncer a few times whilst biting lip so hard it bleeds.

Yawn - still exhausted from having little to no sleep last night (and the night before and the night before that...)

Baby falls back asleep but toddler is now throwing a tantrum in cot.

Something starts brewing inside, a tense, dark feeling of "I'm going to explode". Tears brimming eyes and lump forms in throat.

How do women cope? HOW CAN I COPE? Mother wonders desperately.


Is he asleep? Are they both asleep? Can I now sleep??

Tip toe to bed....

lay down....

close eyes....


"eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeee !!!!" (Toddler)


"uh uh uh, waaaaaa" (Baby)

Heavenly Father give me strength...

It's so true - there's no rest for the wicked.

Would also like to add....

I'm now in my pre-pregnancy jeans!!! HORRAY!!

There are so many benefits to NOT going overdue!

That said, it does show how chubby I was before I fell pregnant with Alex! :/

Still got a stone to lose to get to wedding weight! But morning jogs and weekly swimming sessions will sort that out in the new year! :)

First Child and Second Child Differences...

With Ryan I would just stare into his beautiful face when he was a newborn - forget sleep! I have a gorgeous baby to admire!

With Alex, as soon as I've fed him and changed his nappy I'm patting his back, rocking and shushing him counting down the time til he falls asleep and I can get my head down.

With Ryan, as soon as I heard him sniffle or stir I'm jumping right to the Moses Basket and finding out what is wrong.

When Alex begins to stir, I roll over in bed and enjoy the last few seconds rest I have before he lets out his fog horn cry and I'm sorting him out again.

With Ryan I enjoyed putting him in day outfits and sleepsuits at night

Alex can live in sleepsuits, one for the day and one at night. It's so much easier and there's no need to force him to grow up. He's my baby!

Whenever I breastfed Ryan, I would sit up with my feeding cushion and sit there enjoying this time together

Alex get's fed "on the go" because sure enough when I'm feeding him Ryan is up to mischief or has just managed to walk into a door frame (or something silly) So get Alex latched on, hold him with one hand (he lays on my arm) and I'm running after Ryan, sorting him out at the same time.

Whenever Ryan filled his nappy, I would change it straight away, often getting "jet pooed" on or weed on.

When Alex fills his nappy, I sit him up and rub his tummy, waiting for the inevitable "round 2" (and round 3...4...5 etc) and wait for him to cry for a change, then I know I have the "all clear" for changing him.

Ryan would be bathed carefully in the big bath, with lovely bubbles and then given a baby massage with baby oil afterwards.

Alex gets bathed in the sink - no time for massages afterwards!

Ryan would get floor time on his little play mat for hours on end

Alex is not allowed anywhere near the floor for fear of being stepped on or jumped on by said older brother

I'll make it up to Alex when the sleep-deprivation wears off.

On that note. Naptime. x