Mummy Cuddles

Alex's Birth Story

Well as you know I was having lots of irregular contractions for a couple of days and they kept getting stronger but then stopping again! (Grr!) Well by day 5 of this going on I sent Ross to work despite having contractions every 7-8mins all morning.

I had a midwife appointment that afternoon which Ross was taking me to so I felt relatively calm and just pottered around the house, looking after Ryan and basically being in denial about the contractions I was now having every 4-6 mins. They were making me go "oooh" lol but still I thought I wasn't in labour!

Went to midwife appointment, but this point I couldn't sit down during each contraction. I sat down in the midwife’s office she said "Hi Laura, how are you?" and I bent over, shut my eyes and started mooing like a cow as I dealt with another pain. The midwife then laughed and said "looks like you're in labour". So she checked me and I was 3cms and 100% effaced! Baby's head was "as far down as it can be without being born!" as the mw put it!

Still I didn't believe I was in labour! LOL

So went home, put Ryan down for his nap and proceeded to time the contractions (thank you contractionmaster.com!)

So then I watched Friends - ironically enough it was the episode where Rachel was in labour! Haha. By this point Ross was frantically answering emails and phone calls from work and trying to tie up some stuff so he could take me to hospital Then Ryan woke up from his nap, we sent him across to April’s house and then the contractions upped a notch. (I think it was the relief of knowing he was safe and out of my hair that made things progress)

Before we know it I start to whimper and scream with each contraction and they were coming every 2 mins! They started to feel “pushy” as well. We jumped in the car and Ross was racing up to 120mph on the dual carriage way honking at cars to get out the way - while I screamed the place down during each pain!

We got to the hospital, had to climb 4 sets of stairs to get to the labour ward! (Lifts were taking forever!!) and a kind midwife saw me leant over the banister and crying so she held my hand and took me straight into an assessment room. They checked me and I was only 3-4cms!! I was devastated!

The contractions slowed down - perhaps it was the nerves of being in hospital. But I was taken to a delivery room (which had it’s own en suite! Nice) got changed into a nightie and they gave me the gas and air! (hello old friend!)

This is where things start to go crazy. Basically I started taking the gas and air for each contraction and having a break in between - then the contractions decided to come one after the other. I remember crying out through gritted teeth “I WILL do this without an epidural!!” at that the midwife and Ross laughed at me. I had to stay on the gas and air as the pains were coming constantly. So then I was in a cloud of confusion - I was no longer aware of time or my surroundings. I felt encased in this horrendous pain that seemed to take over my whole being and everything around me (Ross by my side talking to me and the midwife checking baby’s heartbeat) was all being registered in my brain a few seconds later than when it really happened. I began to feel like I was watching my own birth from a different viewpoint.

The pain was entering this “fog” that the gas and air put me in and was of such high intensity and so constant that I could no longer breathe it in. I was purely screaming - the sound brought me right back to Ryan’s birth just before I started to push. I knew despite only being 4cms dilated that Alex wasn’t far away. I felt wild and screamed and screamed - It was as if my whole body had been set on fire - this deep burning, ripping pain started in my core and radiated throughout the whole of my body (literally from my head to my toes!) But I hasten to add that it didn’t last long! Before I knew where I was, my body started to push! “Tell them I’m pushing” I grunted to Ross before closing my eyes and sucking in the gas and air again. There was only one midwife in the room as she didn’t think I was that far along, before you know it I’m being shouted at to “stop pushing!” and the midwife is yelling at Ross to press the emergency button as she struggled to get her gloves on! Then my beautiful bundle of joy flopped out onto the bed in his water sac. I literally “breathed” him out whilst on the gas and air - my body did all the pushing. I didn’t feel any pain either, no ring of fire this time round!

Midwife popped the waters, and threw my son onto my chest. He was completely blue and slippery but crying - tears flooded my eyes as I just wailed “oh baby! Hello baby! Oh! Oh!” over and over again. He felt so tiny in my arms! There was a such an overwhelming rush of warmth and love that flooded my senses - all that pain became a distant memory, instead I felt whole and safe and overjoyed! (Not to mention dang proud of myself! Woman Power eh! Lol)

I didn’t tear or graze and I’m pretty sure that was down to me not actually forcefully pushing the baby. Oh boy was it painful but my beautiful Alex was worth every moment of it.

Alexander Ross Burton is here!

Born 10:31pm 26th October 2010. Weighing 7lbs 2oz. He's tiny! Born in the sac of waters (apparently that's good luck and means he'll never drown!) And he had a heart birth mark on his right bicep!

I'm in love!!

Back in Loving Hands

I like to think this photo has captured the emotion of what has just happend today. We found a very poorly baby Arnie, led by the front door (outside on the gravel path) he was stone cold, immobile and had his eyes closed. His back legs were awkward and stiff and he had a lump at the base of his spine. The poor lizard had staggered to the front door and gave up - closed his eyes and led there to die in the freezing cold.

Then Ross, Ryan and I approached the front door on our way back from a sunday walk - I had looked at the ground as I left the house only half an hour earlier and he wasn't there, so for sure we met at JUST the right time. I don't know what made me look at the ground - he was so still, we could have walked straight past him (Ross had!) but there I saw him, led still and sad on the gravel in a defeated pose. Ross scooped him up in his warm hands, huddled him close and I rushed about getting things for our baby lizard - my motherly instincts stretch to reptiles it seems -as who knows what made me think of filling a hot water bottle and having him lay on it to regain temperature.

It felt like something out of a James Herriot novel.

But now I ponder it - and look at this picture of baby Arnie in Ross' loving hands, it made liken it to us and Heavenly Father. Sometimes in life we do foolish things or make choices that aren't best for us (like leave the straight and narrow path - or escape from a viv) sometimes we think we know better and decide to do things our own way for a while only to get beaten and bruised and cold. Then we try to get home but sometimes we've wandered too far and need help.

It touches me to remember that even when one of Heavenly Father's children have strayed so far that they think going back is impossible and give up all hope - our Saviour is there to rush to our aid, scoop us up into his loving embrace and fill our spirits with warmth and love again.

Baby Arnie is back in his vivarium tonight. There's a wonderful feeling in the house now and I am so grateful to Heavenly Father for inspiring me to go out at just the right time for us to see baby Arnie. Even if it is not to be and baby Arnie is to die, at least he will spend his final moments in the warmth and safety of his home with those who love him around.

And if he makes a full recovery - lets hope he learns his lesson and doesn't escape his vivarium again!

Hmm!!!

Well hello there - *she says sheepishly*

I was having regular contractions every 6-10 mins today - ALL DAY - seriously. Since 6:40am !!!! THAT'S A LOT OF CONTRACTING FOR NOTHING!

Ahem....

So went to Toys R Us and walked around in hopes that it would hurry things along, glugged down some raspberry leaf tea...all that jazz. Had 4 MAJOR INTENSE contractions which rolled into each other and then it all went quiet on the western front!

Not even a twinge.

So I'm going to bed feeling like I had the most unproductive, silly day of my life.

I'm devastated to say it was a false alarm! Alex you naughty boy!

Little Alex is on his way!

I can't believe I'm typing this. I am sat here, feeling so horrendously sick and keep getting hot flushes with each "contraction" (which totally feels more like period cramps this time round as baby is not back to back)

I feel shivery despite not cold, I also feel like I can't get a grip! Why am I doing this again?? The pains aren't following any particular pattern yet - but I'm averaging one every 10 minutes. Also had my "show" so labour is pretty imminent.

To be honest it just feels like I'm on a major period. Crampy, hot/cold sweats, want to curl up in bed with a hot water bottle and sleep....but at the same time I'm all figety and keep getting panicky flutters in my chest...

It's still early - this could go on for hours and hours yet. Who knows?! But one thing I do know, I'm in early labour and this little boy wants out!

Wish me luck! x

Another Day Another....Baby?

Well hello there...

Excuse me if this is the most weird blog entry I've written thus far. For some crazy reason I am awake at alien-o'clock! It's still dark outside!!

I had the weeeeeiiirdest nights sleep!! Firstly, I kept waking up on my back (which KILLS! Baby stop squishing my organs and pressing on my spine!!!) and had such strange dreams (all of which I have now forgotten the details which is really annoying because when I woke up I thought "hmm must write these down") and oh I don't know it just felt so "odd". I feel like I've woken up to a "new life". Or an alternate reality perhaps? Okay so I warned you this entry would be weird - I have no real points to make or logical explanations to give for my feelings right now...so I sound like a rambling weirdo! (hey let's see how many times I can include the word "weird" in this post - ha)

So...two days ago I thought I was in labour. Yehaw! Basically, I've been having those period-like pains and lower back pains come and go all day/night for a few days now. But the other night they started to get inteeennnsse. I was doing the old' "labour dance" (ya know the one, swaying hips with the contractions, with your head bowed low and eyes closed - because that's how I rock and roll!) Too painful to deal with while sat down, unable to keep still, fidgety and wanting to be alone.....all good signs right? Well I thought so. Got in the shower because the pains seemed to be coming every 5 mins or so and the pain....oohhh it was ALL coming back to me, the memory of myself making a solem oath to myself (as I was laboring with Ryan) that Ryan would be my one and only child....(not that the pains had got THAT bad or regular, it was just feeling the earlier ones again REMINDED me what was to come!! Yikes!) The shower felt soo good on my lower back, ( note to self, pack hot water bottle in labour bag) I knew if it was a false alarm they'd die down after my shower - as this soooo often happened when I was pregnant with Ryan. To my surprise, they didn't! So I ooooh-ed and I aaaaarrrhh-ed and did my new-age self hypnosis freaky stuff that just totally doesn't do anything except make you go a bit light-headed and "out of it". (The breathing techniques are STUPID I TELL YOU, they basically just want you to suck as much oxygen in as possible so you actually go dizzy and focus on that rather than the pain)

.....anyways. Poor Ross - remember he was violently ill last week? (I didn't tell you the rest of the story as didn't want to remember it myself to be honest!! But basically Ross called work saying he was sick and the response he got was "no way, we can't have you off, just log in and start working when you've stopped throwing up" I didn't even know this was legal.....anyways he worked from home the next day, but also looked after Ryan all day because I was throwing up for a looooong 12 hours and then proceeded to have immense contractions for a further 3 hours (3 hours of screaming....nice) but anyways then he went back to work on the Thursday and picked up our new car (Audi RS2) from Paddington and drove it back which meant he didn't get home til 9pm and then he worked through the weekend as well because of his stupid "critical period" he's going through at work. (rant over I promise! :D) Anyways the whole point I was trying to make was Ross looked like a ghost, completely pale, even more skinny than usual and sunken eye-sockets. He was PRAYING I wasn't going into labour. He was soooo exhausted and poorly having no time or chance to recover properly from being ill.

Ha, so maybe that's why everything calmed down! Because it did. After hours of these promising pains that actually had me fooled and thinking "who do we call about Ryan? WE HAVE NO PLAN!" they just stopped! No more twinges. Nada. Went to bed, woke up in the morning feeling peachy (and I mean like a big round heavy peach!)

But guess what - come night time (around 5pm) I'm back to dancing around like an oompa loompa, sighing and - *oh* I'm having one now! (maybe it's psychological after all!?!?)

Anyways that went on for a few hours and stopped as well!

Does this sound familar? Read back on my blog - I talk about several instances where I was SO FLIPPING SURE I was in labour....and remember the epic quote: Ross "Are you in labour? Shall we call the hospital" Laura: "No I'm not in labour!! I'm just in pain!" hahaha

So welcome all to SLOW LABOUR. Or Grumbling Labour. Whatever you like to call it! Research (and my history) shows that this can go on for a couple of weeks! But seeing as i'm 38 weeks tomorrow that isn't surprising. Oh and no one is allowed to tell me I'm just having "Braxton Hicks". I know what braxton hicks are, the bump goes hard, there's a bit of discomfort but nothing too serious - THESE ARE CONTRACTIONS people! So go take your patronising know-it-all butts somewhere else because this big mamma ain't listening!

Woweee the SPD isn't helping. Oh boy does rolling over in bed bring tears to my eyes!!! And the lovely CRACKING noise when I sit up in bed or accidently crunch my pelvis as I walk - oooh.

IT'S ALL COMING TO A CLIMAX. I can barely get up and down the stairs, I can get hardly reached forward to change Ryan's nappy on the floor...then I can't pick him up afterwards and have to roll onto my knees and grab the nearest piece of furniture to prise myself out of the clutches on gravity and back onto my feet....

I'm SO done. This is getting ridiculous. I'm completely over this being pregnant thing. I mean seriously people, 2 years in a row! I gave birth in 2009 and will be doing so again in 2010. There should be a universal law that prohibits that!!!! After this I'm DONE. DONE I TELL YOU! DONE DONE DONE!!!!

...At least until "the boys" are in school. Or left school. Or gone on missions. The plan is to have 2 more close together after about 5 or so years - but then can I face going through another 2 pregnancies!?! and Close ONES???

We'll see. I just hope I don't end up having so many kids we end up being the Vontrap family and I die out of sheer exhaustion from having SO MANY BABIES. lol.

Okay putting myself back in perspective. I'm only having this baby. This is my last baby. I will grit my teeth and go through the wrath of God one more time to bring this baby into the world and then I'm done. No more. Oh please let 2011 and 2012 be pregnancy free!! PLEEEAAAASSEE! (as selfish as this sounds....I NEED my body back!!!)

Oooh on an exciting note - April is throwing me a baby shower!!! How exciting is that!? Plus this sunday is my LAST week teaching in Primary *sniff* *sniff* Which brings my absent total to: 7 lessons. (3 of which was actually because of Holiday to the USA!) So as awful as it was - the whole sickness malarky, I only missed 4 lessons (sneaky of me to say though because we had General Conference in April and Stake Conference so reeeaally it was 6 sundays)

*note: If I'm reading this back and thinking "oooh it wasn't THAT bad then, I could totally go through it again, DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT! NOT YET, IT WAS AWFUL, SO AWFUL YOUR BRAIN HAS REPRESSED THE MEMORIES AS THEY ARE TOO HORRIBLE TO BRING BACK - GO READ YOUR HYPEREMESIS BOOK AND GET IT PUBLISHED YOU CRAZY WOMAN!!

Well, I DID warn you about this post...

Going back to bed now... :)

My Worst Fear!!

On Sunday morning I got up, washed, dressed and ready for Church - Ross jumped in the shower as I went upstairs to Ryan with his sunday clothes and a fresh nappy for the day.....to find him laying over his pillow, hugging his blanky and smiling at me but not lifting his head. He looked so happy but tired.

Then the smell hit.

"What on Earth?" I whispered to myself as I crept closer into the room, then I noticed most of last night's dinner all over the sheets, his clothes and the cot!! What was even more sad was it was all completely dry! Poor little monkey had been sick in the night and not feeling well but didn't cry for help!! As I stripped the bed and put monkey in the bath I felt like the worlds worst mother!

So church went out the window. We stayed home to look after monkey and "just in case" it was a tummy bug - you never know with children!

Ryan wasn't sick again. But he kept developing a temperature and was off his food all day, not to mention screaming with pain as his bottom molars are cutting through! Yeouch! Ryan went to bed last night, cried a little every now and then but mostly slept through.

Then Ross got struck done! First time he's had a bug since we've been married and I was dreaded this happening since he asked me to marry him!!! Stomach bugs are my worst nightmare - but the idea of Ross getting one shook me to the core!!

Surprisingly, when he started to be violently sick in the bathroom - an awfully evil smile crossed my lips (only once I promise!!!) and the naughty thought of "get a taste of what it's like to be pregnant darling" entered my head. !!!! How evil am I?!!! Despite freaking out or panicking (as I thought I would) my maternal instinct seemed to kick in. I quickly felt nothing but compassion and just wanted to take care of him.

Now armed with tissues and lots of water, he's on his own in the bedroom - quarenteened for the rest of the day. I wish we had a sliding hatch in the bedroom door where I could refresh his water and leave more tissues.

Ryan is very off-colour today. Again, I went up to him this morning and he was curled on is knees and forearms over his pillow and hugging his blanky. He didn't smile at me this time, but looked up at me with sad, poorly eyes and sucked on his dummy a few times. I stroked his head, wrapped him in another blanket and he promptly fell asleep again.

Now I'm sat in the lounge, rather sleep deprived and feeling like I'm a ticking time bomb. It's only a matter of time before it hits me too. But at least it'll be temporary....not lasting months on end. I just pray this bug doesn't cause me to go into labour! Can't think of anything worse!!

x

Boys Day Out

Ross and Andy took Ryan out to the Audi Day International at Castle Coombe today while I stayed home and enjoyed some piece and quiet - and proceeded to clean the house from top to bottom!

You can just see Ryan peeking out of the window as he was having another taste of life on the fast lane - they do a family procession lap for parents to take their kids on the track. :)

They want me to labour like a CAT!

Notes about how things can go wrong:

- Baby is still small for dates - Hospital birth
- Waters break and there's meconium - 999 ambulance to hospital
- Slow Progress - 999 ambulance to Hospital
- Erratic Heartbeat - 999 ambulance to Hospital
- Cord Prolapse (Emergency C-section) - 999 ambulance to Hospital
- Going Overdue +14 days (will be induced)
- Going into labour before 37 weeks
- If baby's position is not perfect for an uncomplicated delivery, 999 amulance to Hospital

My Situation:

-Going for another routine check next week to check if baby has caught up in size, if not, having another scan and possible induction - as baby is still measuring small for dates

Cons of Homebirth (in Swindon Area):

- Only have basic equiptment for ressusitation
- Can do stitches - but need to provide a torch and Ross would have to hold it!
- Wont administer jab for placenta to allow for a more "natural" birth
- No longer allow pethadine at home due to drug adddicts breaking into midwife's car to steal it
- Will not allow gas and air until Midwife stays with me and midwife wont stay until she thinks I'm close to transition
- Only allowed to bring one small canister of gas and air at a time from hospital (15-30mins worth)
- Will not break waters at home
- Need to buy Midwives take out (yes, they requested we buy them food) plus tea and coffee
- Need to install a light outside front door and have Ross stand out and watch for them when they arrive
- Need to provide childcare - they will not allow children present

They were going on and on about how it'll be all natural and hippy-like. Ugh it was horrible. They even suggested that if I were to need the gas and air and pethadine so badly I should be in hospital anyway because there would have to be something very wrong to not be able to do it drug free! (Labour flipping HURTS you weirdoes!!)

Ugh. Been put RIGHT off a homebirth. Typical that I would be in the area of the country thats SO hippyish and new age!!!