Another Day Another....Baby?

Well hello there...

Excuse me if this is the most weird blog entry I've written thus far. For some crazy reason I am awake at alien-o'clock! It's still dark outside!!

I had the weeeeeiiirdest nights sleep!! Firstly, I kept waking up on my back (which KILLS! Baby stop squishing my organs and pressing on my spine!!!) and had such strange dreams (all of which I have now forgotten the details which is really annoying because when I woke up I thought "hmm must write these down") and oh I don't know it just felt so "odd". I feel like I've woken up to a "new life". Or an alternate reality perhaps? Okay so I warned you this entry would be weird - I have no real points to make or logical explanations to give for my feelings right now...so I sound like a rambling weirdo! (hey let's see how many times I can include the word "weird" in this post - ha)

So...two days ago I thought I was in labour. Yehaw! Basically, I've been having those period-like pains and lower back pains come and go all day/night for a few days now. But the other night they started to get inteeennnsse. I was doing the old' "labour dance" (ya know the one, swaying hips with the contractions, with your head bowed low and eyes closed - because that's how I rock and roll!) Too painful to deal with while sat down, unable to keep still, fidgety and wanting to be alone.....all good signs right? Well I thought so. Got in the shower because the pains seemed to be coming every 5 mins or so and the pain....oohhh it was ALL coming back to me, the memory of myself making a solem oath to myself (as I was laboring with Ryan) that Ryan would be my one and only child....(not that the pains had got THAT bad or regular, it was just feeling the earlier ones again REMINDED me what was to come!! Yikes!) The shower felt soo good on my lower back, ( note to self, pack hot water bottle in labour bag) I knew if it was a false alarm they'd die down after my shower - as this soooo often happened when I was pregnant with Ryan. To my surprise, they didn't! So I ooooh-ed and I aaaaarrrhh-ed and did my new-age self hypnosis freaky stuff that just totally doesn't do anything except make you go a bit light-headed and "out of it". (The breathing techniques are STUPID I TELL YOU, they basically just want you to suck as much oxygen in as possible so you actually go dizzy and focus on that rather than the pain)

.....anyways. Poor Ross - remember he was violently ill last week? (I didn't tell you the rest of the story as didn't want to remember it myself to be honest!! But basically Ross called work saying he was sick and the response he got was "no way, we can't have you off, just log in and start working when you've stopped throwing up" I didn't even know this was legal.....anyways he worked from home the next day, but also looked after Ryan all day because I was throwing up for a looooong 12 hours and then proceeded to have immense contractions for a further 3 hours (3 hours of screaming....nice) but anyways then he went back to work on the Thursday and picked up our new car (Audi RS2) from Paddington and drove it back which meant he didn't get home til 9pm and then he worked through the weekend as well because of his stupid "critical period" he's going through at work. (rant over I promise! :D) Anyways the whole point I was trying to make was Ross looked like a ghost, completely pale, even more skinny than usual and sunken eye-sockets. He was PRAYING I wasn't going into labour. He was soooo exhausted and poorly having no time or chance to recover properly from being ill.

Ha, so maybe that's why everything calmed down! Because it did. After hours of these promising pains that actually had me fooled and thinking "who do we call about Ryan? WE HAVE NO PLAN!" they just stopped! No more twinges. Nada. Went to bed, woke up in the morning feeling peachy (and I mean like a big round heavy peach!)

But guess what - come night time (around 5pm) I'm back to dancing around like an oompa loompa, sighing and - *oh* I'm having one now! (maybe it's psychological after all!?!?)

Anyways that went on for a few hours and stopped as well!

Does this sound familar? Read back on my blog - I talk about several instances where I was SO FLIPPING SURE I was in labour....and remember the epic quote: Ross "Are you in labour? Shall we call the hospital" Laura: "No I'm not in labour!! I'm just in pain!" hahaha

So welcome all to SLOW LABOUR. Or Grumbling Labour. Whatever you like to call it! Research (and my history) shows that this can go on for a couple of weeks! But seeing as i'm 38 weeks tomorrow that isn't surprising. Oh and no one is allowed to tell me I'm just having "Braxton Hicks". I know what braxton hicks are, the bump goes hard, there's a bit of discomfort but nothing too serious - THESE ARE CONTRACTIONS people! So go take your patronising know-it-all butts somewhere else because this big mamma ain't listening!

Woweee the SPD isn't helping. Oh boy does rolling over in bed bring tears to my eyes!!! And the lovely CRACKING noise when I sit up in bed or accidently crunch my pelvis as I walk - oooh.

IT'S ALL COMING TO A CLIMAX. I can barely get up and down the stairs, I can get hardly reached forward to change Ryan's nappy on the floor...then I can't pick him up afterwards and have to roll onto my knees and grab the nearest piece of furniture to prise myself out of the clutches on gravity and back onto my feet....

I'm SO done. This is getting ridiculous. I'm completely over this being pregnant thing. I mean seriously people, 2 years in a row! I gave birth in 2009 and will be doing so again in 2010. There should be a universal law that prohibits that!!!! After this I'm DONE. DONE I TELL YOU! DONE DONE DONE!!!!

...At least until "the boys" are in school. Or left school. Or gone on missions. The plan is to have 2 more close together after about 5 or so years - but then can I face going through another 2 pregnancies!?! and Close ONES???

We'll see. I just hope I don't end up having so many kids we end up being the Vontrap family and I die out of sheer exhaustion from having SO MANY BABIES. lol.

Okay putting myself back in perspective. I'm only having this baby. This is my last baby. I will grit my teeth and go through the wrath of God one more time to bring this baby into the world and then I'm done. No more. Oh please let 2011 and 2012 be pregnancy free!! PLEEEAAAASSEE! (as selfish as this sounds....I NEED my body back!!!)

Oooh on an exciting note - April is throwing me a baby shower!!! How exciting is that!? Plus this sunday is my LAST week teaching in Primary *sniff* *sniff* Which brings my absent total to: 7 lessons. (3 of which was actually because of Holiday to the USA!) So as awful as it was - the whole sickness malarky, I only missed 4 lessons (sneaky of me to say though because we had General Conference in April and Stake Conference so reeeaally it was 6 sundays)

*note: If I'm reading this back and thinking "oooh it wasn't THAT bad then, I could totally go through it again, DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT! NOT YET, IT WAS AWFUL, SO AWFUL YOUR BRAIN HAS REPRESSED THE MEMORIES AS THEY ARE TOO HORRIBLE TO BRING BACK - GO READ YOUR HYPEREMESIS BOOK AND GET IT PUBLISHED YOU CRAZY WOMAN!!

Well, I DID warn you about this post...

Going back to bed now... :)