This is now day 5 of having irregular contractions. :( Gutting. So here's an update:
Day 1. Felt incredibly nauseous, run down and gripy pains in my stomach. Just flopped on the sofa with cookie monster on my back and falling in and out of consciousness thinking my life was going to end....it really reminded me of the good ol' days whenever I'd be on a period! That night, (so technically on Day 2) I got out of bed at 1am and started scrubbing the kitchen floor, cleared the dishes away, bleached the bathrooms, tidied the lounge and polished...
Day 2. I pulled out all the clothes, shoes, boxes and bedding out from the wardrobes and packed unwanted clothes away, refolded the bedding, sorting all my teddies and put all the clothes on hangers and rearranged them nicely. Put on 4 wash loads and emptied the washing bin. Proceeded to empty/fill the dishwasher, run up and down the stairs with various items that had been left lying around and just generally cleaning everything. Folded all the freshly washed and dried clothes, put them away and repacked my hospital bag and bag for the baby. Phew.
Day 3. Went out shopping with Ross, walked around B&Q feeling irregular but painful period-like pains in my lower bump and back. Got home, curled up on the sofa trying to watch TV and put my mind off the horrible pains that just kept on coming and going.
Day 4. Slept for 12hrs straight and totally missed church. Stayed in Bed until 4 as I was exhausted from the constant niggles and aches and pains I've been experiencing. finally coaxed myself to have a shower, get dressed, walked downstairs, got a drink and then doubled up with the most painful contraction yet. Awful. Sat down, had a pain killer. Tried to ignore the pains. They dulled down and died off totally....
Day 5. Woke up in the middle of the night, had awful experience where I was gripped by fear and anxiety, cried my eyes out, got intense tightenings and braxton hicks...the pains were all in my back. But after a blessing and a drink, they died off and I was able to sleep. Woke up in early afternoon feeling totally lousy. Pains just keep coming in waves, but not regular enough to write down, Baby is so far down I can't feel his head. His back is in my pelvis and I keeps squirming about as if to say "let me out".
This baby has had enough. I've had enough. We both want it to end, yet neither of us know how to actually get to that bit! Baby is doing all the right things, he's fully engaged head down, his back is facing my bump, I'm feeling the contractions and trying to breathe....but nothing's happening!! I'm not too upset though, If I hold out til Saturday, I'll be 37 weeks on paper. (although I still count my new weeks on every thursday)
I just don't know how much longer this will go on. I have a mid wife appointment this thursday and if I haven't gone into labour by then I'm tempted to ask the midwife to check me and see if I'm dilated...!
I still have worries though - like what do I do once I've given birth? Do I really have to spend the night in hospital alone with a brand new baby to look after? What do I do when I want to go to the bathroom? I can't just leave the baby? Surely! And WHY must I go to hospital! :( Sick people go to hospital and I'm terrified. TERRIFIED of going in.
I really want to go to the birthing unit - I'm so incredibly nervous of going into the delivery suite with the utensils and sterile rooms and the machines....it's just too much of a fuss. I hate it so much and I hate the idea of Ross leaving me for the night. Suddenly I feel much too young to be having a baby..! I'm scared!! :(
BUT, boy am I ready! I want this boy OUT. I want to cuddle him, clothe him, bathe him and feed him. I look forward to the sleepless nights of endless feeding and soothing and rocking and checking on him to see if he's sleeping alright....I can't wait to be able to give Ross out baby and go and have a shower for a few minutes. I so want him to be born. I'm so ready for that. Heck, I've been having pains so long I really REALLY don't care about labour anymore. Bring it on. Let's get him out. I guess it's the hospital bit I'm hating the idea of.....too late to schedule a home birth???
Hmmm. Well that was one long post of moaning! haha yep I'm definitely in my last month of pregnancy!
Laura
xxx
ps, confession: I just ate the rest of Ross' chocolate easter egg..and I feel much happier for it too! heheh.
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