Today I feel sick.
Oddly enough, not because of "morning sickness" or "3rd trimester sickness" or whatever they like to call it...
No, I feel sick because I have been not sleeping well, getting hot flushes and trying to wrap my head around the idea that there *could* be something wrong, but I just have to sit here and *rest* while I wait to find out when I can go to hospital to find out *if* there is anything wrong, which there *might* not be.....Yeeesh.
I'll start with the beginning of the story -
So I didn't sleep too well the night before my midwife appointment - I was so wrapped up in worries over the jab and my midwife being angry at me for being soooo late getting this appointment (which actually was NOT my fault but that is besides the point) So I didn't feel too well yesterday, but went about getting ready. I had no idea what to wear either!! Arm, thigh or bum? Who knows where they will jab me!!?? So I got dressed in a cool skirt and top and gathered my paperwork together...prepared a sample and was all set. Then I decided to put some jeans on...then I decided to wear a long sleeved top, then it was too hot so I put on a t-shirt....and it went on and on until Carla turned up to take me to my appointment.
So we go in, Megan on Carla's lap looking like a gorgeous doll with long curly golden locks and a smile that would make anyone gush... the midwife was SUPER friendly. No lectures or tellings off. She was breezy - albeit a bit scatter-brained too, but who am I to judge on scatter-brainedness?
Blood pressure was 110/70 (nice change from my last dismal 90/50) sample was fine, no ketones or protein...heart baby's heartbeat and OH BOY did that feel great to hear! Carla and the midwife were grinning away like cheshire cats as we all listened to the strong ryhmic beat of my unborn child's heart. Then I got measured - "27cm, that's fine" I frowned a little but wasn't put off by her words, then she did the jab, (was rather dignified too, just pulled my jeans down a little and told me to wriggle my toes - don't think it did anything but definitely distracted me! ha.
I was SO relieved the jab was fine that I was on a different planet. We were blissfully talking about booking my homebirth appointment when my midwife paused, looked at my notes and frowned. "you're 32 weeks tomorrow?" she asked. I nodded. "Oh you measured very small..." she plotted it on the graph and low and behold I was waay out of the grey area (whereas up til now I had always been average!) "Shall I book you an ultrasound just to make sure everything is okay?" she asked, I gleefully agreed thinking "oh wonderful I get to see my little boy again!" then it all seemed to sink in a bit for the midwife, she called the hospital and they were booked up for the next 2 weeks she said "it'll be too late by then, she's already 32 weeks you see..." then she called someone else and then when she had no joy in getting me an appointment she said she was going to send for me to receive an ultrasound (through the post) and have to wait. So I'm to sit and wait for my appointment to arrive....who knows when it'll come and when it'll be for! The problem was they wanted to arrange for an ultrasound with an abstetrecian (sp?) but she said I'll have one with a nurse and if a problem is found they will have some emergency doctor to come and look at the ultrasound...
So....Google is NOT your friend. Loads of stories of babies that stop growing due to short cords, failing placenta or low amniotic fluid levels...ending up in the mother having to be induced early or if the baby can't cope with the birth they'll just get the baby out via emergency c-section....etc etc. IT'S ALL SO DRAMATIC.
What's worse, is my midwife doesn't want to talk about homebirth anymore because i've suddenly been put on "high risk" until they know what's going on. Baby is lying back to back so there's a possiblity that all is absolutely fine and he's just wriggled in deep and made me measure small....but apparently the "grey area" takes this into account....so 5cms too small is enough to make anyone panic....I mean seriously, 5cms???!!!! That's HALF WAY TO FULLY DILATED!
Phew.
So my orders are to sit down, relax, give up on the old housework duties and wait quietly like a good girl - oh yeah and to count the kicks every hour and if baby goes quiet I've got to GO INTO HOSPITAL STRAIGHT AWAY.
*sigh*
Ross says NHS suck, it's so true!! If we don't get an appointment by the end of the week I'm sorry, but we're booking a private scan with babybond this saturday - because seriously I can NOT wait a whole weekend to find out WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY BABY!!
I'll keep you updated.
I'll keep you updated.
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